CARPE DIEM

Sunday, July 10, 2011

In life, we have choices.

You have something great. Cherish it. Because one day, you will come close to losing it as a test of your faith and dedication.

Never fool yourself into thinking that you'd never lose that one thing you hold dear because at least this way, you'd be prepared.

Noone's out there to blindside you.

Because when the day comes that you're scrambling to hold on to him/her/that/it, you'd realise that it's already too late. Once you realise that it's going to go, it's too late. The cracks have been made and it's only after a long time that it has widen enough for you to notice and no matter how much glue you attempt to put on it, the scars will never fade.

Cherish who you love.

I didn't.

And look where that got me.

shaaaab at { 1:39 AM }

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

So apparently the unimaginative title of my blog ; - Carpe Diem

has been called out for.

Obviously no one will call it out to my face but hey, that's where connections come into play.

But I digress.

Another cousin has just gotten married. Am so happy for her. She looks gorgeous on the day itself. She's the malaysian side of the family so we the gatal Singaporeans decided to do something... 'fun'.

Themed hair bands, the bigger, the better.

And that's where you can see my hair sporting a huge decoration that ultimately covered my fringe -_-

Eldest sister obviously has to have the most glamourous and yeah she can definitely take the cake!

Pictures are up on FB and I'm loading it on my LJ as well.

(given up loading photos on blogger eons ago)

And with that, au revoir!

Oh wait, another thing.

They say that who your friends are defines what kind of a person you are.

Guess what? They are assholes.

Got the hint yet?

And frankly who my friends are, are totally not in the same temperament and nature as me. I'm usually the one who acts/reacts according to the situation. If the group is a sullen-and-i-want-to-die-of-boredom kind of ppl, I would take the lead and try to liven it up. *keynote here, try*

But frankly I will be glad to let someone else take the lead most oft. And that's where alot of people are puzzled regarding my friends. When we're out in a group, you'd notice I'm always the quieter one.

pfft.

Bullshit.

I'm not the quiet one okay.

heh.

okay i'm rambling. shall keep quiet.

hardy har har

shaaaab at { 2:44 PM }

Friday, May 20, 2011

Nearly a month since I last blogged!!

Been busy with work and school and life and it's such a wonderful feeling being so crazy and busy and all!

hehe.

I'm someone who needs to be doing something continuously so that I won't get lazy.

Once my momentum is gone, that's it, huge butt appears. :0

Recently, the most exciting news would be my cousin's marriage.

hehehehehe

He looks amazing and my new cousin-in-law look amazing too!

so happy for them and i cannot wait for their kids heheheheh

Shall upload photos over at FB as well as http://shaaaab.livejournal.com cause blogger refuses to play nice and allow me to upload my photos!

shall do necessary adjustments first before uploading tho!

shaaaab at { 6:11 PM }

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Do you not see how I dislike being repressed and supressed.

Do you not see how I dislike me?

A chain around my neck, having to bottle everything and be perfect.

Be so fucking perfect.

Always.

Every damn time.

Do you not see how I long to cry?

Do you not see how I long to just keep having faith?

To trust?

To love?

Do you not see that sometimes, being who you want me to be, should be good enough.

Why? why must you grab hold of my heart and not let go? why must you not let me be free? why must you keep me in a cage, disabling me from having my own thoughts and opinions? my own feelings?

Why? Why must I keep feeling that something is wrong w me when it is so clearly just our rship thats fucked and not either one of us is at fault?

WHY THE FUCK

shaaaab at { 9:55 PM }

Sunday, April 3, 2011

I think i have a psychological problem :0

I am such an otaku I'm amazed that I've yet decided to start dressing as one and stuff.

guess ego and pride does play a part huh

anyway, i saw a particular style of top that i definitely like. shall go to a seamstress and have it tailored then i guess along with some other dresses i've got in mind.

Oh yes I've set aside a rather small box that can fit a rather substantial amount of notes. heheheheheheheheheheh.

money notes!

no not hell money tsk

It's a special box that cant be opened hua hua hua!

and its for a trip that i made up my mind to go to ;)

i cant wait!

i am touching my hair now and really my sisters have been calling it a fire hazard for quite some time.

need to do a hair mask very soon.

not to mention, a face mask.

my face has been in such a deplorable state, i refuse to look in the mirror.

though to be honest, i dont use mirrors. its a leftover problem from stupid stories told to me regarding spirits and mirrors. ugh.

going off the tangent once again but i need to lose weight.

really.

i hit my very first 46.1kg in my entire life.

thats the heaviest and i am a rather tiny person so i rather not look like a walking dumpling when i go out in public.

studying psychology sucks even with what little knowledge i have cause it means i realise i have so many psychological problems! hahahha.

guess im a wacko afterall huh -_-

reading this post, you'd realise my thoughts are in a muddle.

but truly,

my thoughts are always like this 24/7, 7daysaweek, 365days a year.

rather glad i've not been called bimbotic but i doubt my luck would hold.

Eja darl is coming back from hangon after a year and im so excited to meet her but we shall see how things goes cause im not really sure how my future is mapped out yet.

but im pretty sure that when i've decided, come hell or high water, it'd take a lot to make my will waver.

okay enough ranting. 331am now.

time for some princess diaries marathon!

oh did you know? nowadays, i try not to sleep either. or the earliest time i do sleep now is 6am.

shaaaab at { 3:16 AM }

Thursday, March 31, 2011

This is utterly random but one of the few movies that I can not seem to forget is Ayat Ayat Cinta.

Going off the tangent but to me it's really about love and faith and it rings a bell with me, esp the part in which it hurts very badly.

Back to this.

Fahri is a good guy. Really good. He tries his best.

But the one who DOES the most is his first wife. She stood by him. She believed in him. She trusts him. She helped him get married to another person. She went baby shopping for their child alone. She basically does things that are so self-less.

Even when it means sharing him with another, as long as he is happy, she will swallow it in.

(IN MY OPINION LAH NI SEMUA OK)

I know one point in which she walked out but hey if I were her, I'd walk out much earlier than her and wouldn't go back! (I think. I m quite a sucker too though)

But she did.

For that she has my respect uh.

hahah

And listening to ayat ayat cinta the OST, just reminds me again of the movie.

It somehow teaches me that, as long as your love is pure and true, things will InsyaAllah go your way. Have faith and be patient. Allah always looks out for his people.

by the by, my blog is my own personal ranting space. It doesn't require any readers. Hell, I don't read what I blog either. And this suits me just fine ;)

shaaaab at { 11:46 PM }

Monday, March 28, 2011

woah 13days since my last huh?

Been so much that has happened!

Really, 13days nothing to joke about you know.

Went on a trip Sin-KL-CameronHighlands-Melaka-Sin in 4 days straight.

Very rushed trip but hell its great fun cause you get to see so many things!

And Cameron Highlands is no longer cold so please don't be like my silly mia and wear such thick jacket. -__________-

sungguh tak perlu.

And I think among my dad,mia and kucing (YESH YESH I BROUGHT HER ALONG MY TRIP HEHE), I was the most rilek jack! Tights all the way and dress lah. thin shirt lah. even in the bus i didn't wear like jacket or shawl. my shawl was for strictly looking good. HAHA!

*pssst. vainpot*

KL was good, so much to shop for at Masjid India! I controlled myself (barely) cause we were going to Petaling St and Central Market (Pasar Seni). In hindsight, it was a very good move and it managed to curb my spending BUT petaling st and pasar seni was such disappointment cause I didn't get anything from there except for a Mr Bean TeddyBear I bought for my sister. Cute huh? hahha

Was impressed by the hotel rooms we were given. really. And I think Kucing was abit surprised cause I didn't seem to move position when I sleep. I went to bed and woke up in the exact same position, even the bed covers were not disturbed!

But first night in hotel rooms are always trying for me. I always end up having nightmares. Confirm. every single time.

tsk.

Next we headed to Cameron Highlands. The other people in the tourgroup was all decked out in sweatshirts and the like when we got on the bus. I was the only idiot wearing a thin bright blue dress, tights and boots. hahahaha. attention-grabbing habes :0

Reached Cameron and I had to force myself to sleep in the bus cause I didn't want to throw up. Pening okay!

Woke up to such bountiful beauty, couldn't help the gasp that escaped!

The colours were really something you don't get to see in towns. Such bright colours nearly burnt my eyes and the only thing I could associate the colours with were Happiness.

Typical eh?

Even the air is crisp! The first lungful of air actually hurt my damaged lungs omg. It was THAT fresh, it literally felt like a zap through my body! So bloody fresh, kucing and I were trying to breathe it all in and keep it inside our bodies HA HA HA that was how lame we were.

Headed first to the Rose Valley. We were given 30mins to look and it turned into an amazing race for my fam. Really. Mum literally went running after we agreed on which route we would take to see it all. hahahhahahaha. Strategic eh?

Then off we went to check in to our hotel. given time to walk around and shop the pasar malam nearby. SO MANY THINGS OMG and I spent. again. yes. omg.

Headed back when it started to rain. RAIN LAH SIA. AT CAMERON HIGHLANDS.

goosebumps were JUMPING out of my skin I tell you.

but only for first 2 minutes and then it felt pleasant.

(I swear something is wrong with me seeing how i cant stand the cold while in sg)

Headed back for our STEAMBOAT DINNER.

yummssss!

To Melaka the next day. Shopped at Mydin (by then i was nearly broke omg *bangs head on wall*) and bought ice-cream. met up with parents then we headed back to the bus. We both got barred from entering the bus cause our ice-cream was the will-melt-if-youre-not-licking-it-which-means-constantly-melting-omg.

Mum and me raced to finish our ice-cream, squealing, cause it was soooooo cold!

Abi (our driver) was laughing at us!

headed to a keropok factory and... yup. I spent yet again.

*hangs myself*

back to sg and seriously I WANT TO GO ON ANOTHER HOLIDAY PLEASE!

pictures upload is like taking forever so i shall resize them and upload next post ya!

kdahbye.