CARPE DIEM

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Vday.

it's over.

But debate is still on-going about how sinful it is to be celebrating it in the first place.

My 0.2cents worth?

Look deep inside yourself before you comment about how "sinful" it is to celebrate with a loved one.

IF you are all things that are right, then maybe you comment to make people aware is okay I guess. But in the era, it's a tad hard to believe that someone doesn't know.

Ah well.

Walking away from a 6years+ relationship will never be easy. Walking away from any relationship never was. You have to keep telling yourself to chin up, walk tall, head held proud, no tears no weakness.

And when you're just tired of being strong, you crumble and then the entire process is back to square one.

So many things I could have done to save it. Closing an eye to his indiscretions, keeping mum while angry, smile when it hurts and probably even a million more. But then it'd mean losing who I am. So I go with it. Because I could never bottle things up without feeling like tearing my hair out by its roots. It means losing a wall of support that was there for 6 years. It means cutting my nose off to spite my face. It means giving up on love.

But I'd do it still.

And I don't have a concrete reason why. Probably never will.

There's only one thing I regret from this excuse of a relationship.

The loss of someone so dear, it kills me to have lost it ; And I'm not talking about my then-boyfriend.

It's Wednesday already. How time flies.

Monday Saheera left for Australia.

It's Wednesday now.

And then Friday comes knocking.

I don't feel ready, probably never will.

But I don't have any choice now do I?

How long has it been since I lost you? Since March 2010. I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry I lost you. I found and lost you in a few words. Breaking down alone at the doctor's was never in my agenda. I've come clean now. I'm sorry.