CARPE DIEM

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Monday, January 31, 2011

Why?

I was just told that I'm one of the more matured-thinking girls a guy has ever known. He's not the first.

Why?

Do you not see what I see? Do you not see how I struggle? Do you not see how I don't like being me?

My thoughts are in a constant swirl, a miasma of negativity. Do you not see how it affects me on a daily basis? can you not SEE how HARD it is?

Like and infatuation at most, they define how you go through life and how you act but at the end of the day, it fades. Just like anything and everything. It fades away. Even love. Even hatred. Nothing stays forever.

Nothing gold can stay.

Do you not see my struggles?

This facade is not impenetrable. Its not impregnable. I am me. Flaws and all. I just need somebody to love me too.

It's really heart-rending, abah asking for help to write up an obituary for yayi for the newspaper. It really is.