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SHABRINA
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Monday, January 31, 2011 Why?I was just told that I'm one of the more matured-thinking girls a guy has ever known. He's not the first. Why? Do you not see what I see? Do you not see how I struggle? Do you not see how I don't like being me? My thoughts are in a constant swirl, a miasma of negativity. Do you not see how it affects me on a daily basis? can you not SEE how HARD it is? Like and infatuation at most, they define how you go through life and how you act but at the end of the day, it fades. Just like anything and everything. It fades away. Even love. Even hatred. Nothing stays forever. Nothing gold can stay. Do you not see my struggles? This facade is not impenetrable. Its not impregnable. I am me. Flaws and all. I just need somebody to love me too. It's really heart-rending, abah asking for help to write up an obituary for yayi for the newspaper. It really is.
shaaaab at { 2:35 AM } Sunday, January 30, 2011 Every death that happens is emotionally draining.More emotional than physical, though physically it is too. Got woken up by mia calling and telling me grandda passed away. I felt NOTHING. (shit dont call me heartless it's just shock okay) Called up sisters and they were alrd otw home. Bathed, dressed, packed whatever was needed. Daddy called and when I heard him crying, that was when everything felt real. Sissies came home and then adik drove us to grandda's. Didn't need to do much cause there were people before us who did everything. Funeral commenced and makciks so busily comparing their kids' successes and the remaining wealth and the whatever trivial matters these vultures can think of. Even maids abusing whatever they were given also thrown into the rojak topics, kalahkan mama betul. tsk. Joke of The Day between me and cousin; Me : Anak saya doktor, anak awak plak? Cousin : Anak saya pun doktor, pandai dia inject diri sendiri! Me : BWAHAHA diabetes kah?! Cousin : DRUG ADDICT! Translation ~ Me : My child is a doctor, how about yours? Cousin : My child also doctor, can inject self very well! Me : BWAHAHA due to diabetes? Cousin : DRUG ADDICT! hahahahahahaha now that eased my irritation with silly relatives. Went along to the grave and okay dah don't really want to talk about it.  My Yayi. Allahyarham Haji Shahroon bin Haji Abdullah aka Haji Sharon bin Haji Abdullah
shaaaab at { 12:43 AM } Thursday, January 27, 2011 I'M A FUCKING RETARD WTF?!ACCORDING TO AN IQ TEST THAT IS COMPULSORY FOR ME TO DO FOR MY PSYCHOLOGY CLASS, MY IQ IS BELOW AVERAGE. ACCORDING TO YOUR PERFORMANCE TO THIS TEST, YOUR PERFORMANCE IS SLIGHTLY BELOW POPULATION AVERAGE k ah aku tahu ah aku bodoh tapi takyah ah rub it in.  ZOOM IN AH CAN SEE KNNCCB BETUL
shaaaab at { 1:09 AM } Friday, January 21, 2011 This is the story of an old and disintegrating woman, Eliza. I met her while she was out shopping for CNY goodiessss  She got tired. And we walked to find food for her, old fat aunty And we saw this sign instead of the Samurai burger~ YAYYY!  Old aunty nearly died there! She whipped out handphone (wah not bad old aunty it-savvy) and TWEET lah sia. To make her order faster, I show her a poster of me (looks down)  cb. So she faster orderrrrrrrrrr~ Then I always call her slow. So she pouted.  thanks baby, like my captioning?
shaaaab at { 10:52 PM } So. I've received a request (oh man that sounds so...ugh) but it's to post up 5 things that are always in my purse. Sadly, I don't own a purse. I CANT! I'm one of those insufferable female in which I neeeeeeeed a huge big bag to stuff all my nonsense in! So here it is, pics were taken on my bed hahaha so umm excuse the backgrnd......?       Keys w DBS dongle, can't live w/o it, my thumbdrive is attached as well and it has alot of nonsense in it. Next would be my wallet from F21! heh changed it on 10th Muharram, InsyaAllah murah rezeki. Next, a daily planner my sis bought for me from Korea. omg its something very necessary in my life, i'd be lost as to know who i'm meeting that day! A coin pouch from Bali from Eggy my cousin. Haha i refuse to include coins in my wallet, itd cause my wallet to go out of shapeeee! A philips MP3 mummy got me a few years back. So convenient, plug and play! I can really just plug into anyone's laptop and steal their songs. it still works after 3 years omg. kay doing this is so funny. shaaaab at { 2:53 AM } Thursday, January 6, 2011  I've always known I was a throw-back of a cave woman. In terms of my search for a life-long partner I mean. I want a guy taller than me, broad shoulders, muscled, someone who can protect me, comfort me, shelter me, spoil me senseless. Those shit. So it should come as no surprise when I say I rather the partner is someone who fights my battle for me. Make my worries his, my battles his, my achievements his as well. That is what a partnership is to me. But then again, I notice things around me. And I realise one tiny contradiction. When a guy fights my battles for me each and every time, it simply makes me feel protected as well as inept. I realise I rather a guy supporting me from behind, quietly watching and giving me the space to do what I think is right and helping me deal with the consequences whatever it may be. One who scolds me while comforting me should I lose. One who scolds me for even fighting and then says he is proud of me regardless when I win. Someone in the background who doesn't intrude. Guess that makes me being a cave woman.... impossible doesn't it? But guys who can protects and nurtures well? Major Major Major turn on *melts* |
