CARPE DIEM

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Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Please, allow me this moment of melancholy (Thanks Raya)

You being you, you don't realise how emotional scars really wound.
and how long it takes to heal and how long it takes to forget.
Some, just doesn't heal nor will you ever forget.

You don't realise, once hurt and broken...
no. it doesn't matter.
Wounds HAVE been inflicted whether I want it to or not.

I'm glad I met you the other day even though the words 'fuck off' left your mouth.
I'm glad we met even though I had to run to catch up with your angry pace.
I'm glad you gave me every reason to let go and never look back.
And frankly, I don't know how I managed to stay and hold on for as long as I did.
I don't know why even, whether it was from habit or misguided sense of duty or even twisted love, I stayed the years.
You were never, ever easy to please.
I always seem to be walking on eggshells the entire time and I could not even be superfluous in my feelings for you, be it happiness or anger.
But for what it's worth, I never regretted being with you, no matter how many times I show that I do.
You were my teacher is many aspects and though it hurts it ended THAT way and that it even ended, I never regretted.

I know,in our own way, we have each tried our best. But feelings do change and fade. I don't know what was the catalyst but it has happened.
You've given me joy but at the same time, you've given me more pain than I could ever imagine. I should really hate you and throw things into your face and curse and scream.
At times, I HAVE given in to the inclination but at the end of the day,
I hope you'd be well and happy.
~~with or~~ without me.